Privacy Policy: The "Grandma's Cookies" Edition

Let's be honest, nobody reads these things. But for those of you who do, here's the short version:

• I only take your name and email if you give them to me (think of it as a handshake). I use them solely to answer your questions, not to sell your soul to spam demons.
• Cookies? You bet! But these cookies are for making the website function, not tracking your every move. Think of them like crumbs – they help things run smoothly, but they're not very interesting on their own.
• Shoving my blog posts down your throat? Not a chance. This website is my soapbox. The server has built-in analytics (pretty bad, amazingly funny, and poor one). No clue what goes on there, and I have no control over it.
• My inbox loathes unsolicited pitches like a mime hates hecklers. Care to test its legendary powers by spamming me, or are you wise enough to avoid becoming the star of my all-new "Email Hall of Shame" for SEO snake oil salesmen? Do you want to be removed? Well, make me an apology, and I'll consider it.

Update of the Privacy (Version 1.0.1)

Collecting data is completely anonymized! As this website gets bigger, I've started using my own analytics. So here is what I am doing:

If you accept statistical cookies, I will collect:

• Data from the complete funnel, meaning where you landed, navigated through my website, and exited.
• Clicked links.
• Town and country.

GDPR: I Don't Play Keepsies (Unless I Have To)

Need your data wiped clean? No problem! Just ask, and I'll delete it faster than yesterday's news (unless we have a contract, then it's like a library book – gotta return it properly). Anyway, I will not keep your data more than necessary.

Terms & Conditions: Copyright Chaos and Hacker Hijinks

I purchase images, and most come with strict licenses protecting the creators' rights. There are also some images I download from sources that allow free use. I won't be attributing every image source, please don't attempt to access them directly.

For the text on this website, I explicitly deny any rights to download, copy, or redistribute the material.

About hackers... truth is, I personally built this website from scratch with ProcessWire, so there are no hidden files, spamware, or weird libraries but I can't babysit this website 24/7 (gotta sleep, work and eat sometime!). So if some digital bandit decides to crash the party, well, that's on them, and you use this website at your own risk. Think of it like a rogue frisbee in the park – exciting, but potentially dangerous.

I recommend you periodically review this page for potential future changes.